


I will not be afraid of your scars

by starkaryen



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Bottom Hannibal, Confused Will, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, M/M, Murder Husbands, Post-Episode: s03e13 The Wrath of the Lamb, Top Will, i don't really know how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-01-14
Packaged: 2018-05-13 23:39:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5721382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starkaryen/pseuds/starkaryen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You once told me you wouldn’t deny me my life,” he said, and Will instantly knew what he meant; the night he had called him, the night they were supposed to leave together. “I don’t believe you really wanted to kill me or yourself that night on the cliff, either.”<br/>“Maybe for a second I did,” Will said, although his words sounded weaker than he had meant them to.<br/>“Perhaps… But tell me something, Will. The moment you wrapped your arms around my neck and pushed us over the edge... what was the strongest feeling inside you; the hope that we would both die… or the hope that we would survive?”</p><p>or,</p><p>After the fall, Will and Hannibal sail out to sea, and Will has to face the feelings he's been ignoring.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I will not be afraid of your scars

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CarpeDiemForLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarpeDiemForLife/gifts).



> After the s3 ending I _really_ wanted to write something, but I was already in the middle of writing [Sensates](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4623987/chapters/10541307) (my super long Hannibal fic, you can check it out if you want to :3), so I only wrote down a couple of things in a draft doc and that was it. I kept adding details or things that I thought of, and then the other day I just couldn't delay it anymore and I just had to write it!  
>  So, here is my attempt of post-s3 Hannigram fic :)
> 
> The title is from [this incredibly beautiful poem](http://clementinevonradics.tumblr.com/post/49054187544/i-am-not-the-first-person-you-loved-you-are-not) that I quote at the beginning of the fanfic. Also, you can check the Florence + The Machine song I also quote [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMBTvuUlm98).
> 
> \----
> 
> This is for you [CarpeDiemForLife](http://archiveofourown.org/users/CarpeDiemForLife), for a couple of reasons: the first, because it was your birthday, so I hope this is somewhat a decent birthday gift (once again, Happy belated Birthday, you beautiful human being!!!!).  
> The second reason is because you have made me **so** incredibly happy with your kind and sweet messages, like you have no idea. I can't even properly explain the joy that brings me to see a message from you, and I hope we can keep getting to know each other <3\. Thank you so much for everything, Adi♥️♥️
> 
> Also, thank you SO much to [CarpeDiemForLife](http://archiveofourown.org/users/CarpeDiemForLife) and [redkakumei](http://archiveofourown.org/users/redkakumei/pseuds/redkakumei) (<3) for being the best beta readers ever<33\. Any mistake that is left in this fic is all on me.

_This is how we heal._  
_I will kiss you like forgiveness. You_  
_will hold me like I’m hope. Our arms_  
_will bandage and we will press promises_  
_between us like flowers in a book._  
_I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat_  
_on your skin. I will write novels to the scar_  
_of your nose. I will write a dictionary_  
_of all the words I have used trying_  
_to describe the way it feels to have finally,_  
_finally found you._

  
_And I will not be afraid_  
_of your scars._

(Mouthful of Forevers - Clementine von Radics)

 

X 

 

 _A thousand miles down to the seabed_  
_Found the place to rest my head_  
_Never let me go_

(Florence & The Machine)

 

****

 

That first night, Will woke up kicking the sheets, gasping for air and looking around, only to find that Hannibal’s bed was empty. He fisted the bottom sheet while his head kept spinning and he tried to discern where he was, until the moonlight coming through the small windows finally allowed him to recognize the cabin of the boat.

After the fall and crawling out of the water with the raging waves trying to claim both of them as theirs, they had broken into a small clinic, where Hannibal had tended to their wounds with steady hands but shaky breaths. Everything that happened afterwards was foggy in Will’s memory due to the pain and the drugs, but he didn’t even question anything when they managed to go to a small cabin in the woods that apparently Hannibal owned. They were there what could have been a few days, a few weeks, a few lives. They spent those days in almost complete silence, feeling their wounds heal with each passing and aching second. And finally, one day, Hannibal had started packing the few things they had there and Will knew it was time to go. They bought supplies in a 24-hour store where they didn’t have to interact with anyone, keeping their heads bowed and as far from the security cameras as they could, and then went straight to the wharf. There, Will had the larger boat he hadn’t taken to Europe when he had gone to find Hannibal.

“I think we should go first to Puerto Rico. I know someone who can provide us new identities,” Hannibal told him when they had loaded up everything in the boat.

Will just nodded, not even a little surprised that Hannibal ‘knew people’ who could do that for him.

And that very first night in the boat, out into the vast sea, Will woke up after having _the_ nightmare. Once his mind adjusted to the notion that he was in a rocking bed, and not in the wooden cabin anymore, he ran a hand through his hair and then turned to the other bed in the opposite side of the narrow cabin. He was putting one foot on the cold floor ready to get up, when he heard the toilet tank’s sound coming from the adjacent bathroom. He quickly lay back down on the bed and covered himself with the sheets ignoring the cold sweat on his back. When Hannibal returned to the bedroom as silent as a cat, Will pretended he was asleep, but he was almost sure that the other knew he wasn’t.

The next morning, Will looked at Hannibal a couple of times while he was buttering his toast, but he seemed normal. Or, at least, as normal as Hannibal had been after the fall; he seemed like he was waiting. Waiting for Will to talk first, waiting for him to move first… And that confused Will even more than the battling feelings that were crowding inside him since the fall.

The second night, he woke up again from the nightmare, and that time the first thing he did was look across the room. Hannibal was lying in bed with his back towards him, facing the wall, but when Will stayed still a couple of seconds, he realized that he was awake. Something in his breathing, or maybe the strain in the muscles of his back told him that he was only pretending to be asleep. Will wasn’t sure if it was for his sake or because he didn’t want to face him in a moment like that, but he thanked him silently anyway, and got back to sleep.

That morning, however, Hannibal raised his eyes from his breakfast and stared at him. Will tried not to look at him, but at some point he couldn’t bear it any longer, so he raised his gaze to find a look of adoration in the other man’s eyes.

“I didn’t ask you whether you were okay with my plan or not,” Hannibal said, and Will furrowed his brow a little, because it wasn’t what he had expected to hear.

“You didn’t have to ask.”

Hannibal tipped his head to the side, and the morning light coming from the open door that led to the deck made the scar on his cheek stand out. Then Hannibal lowered his gaze, and Will decided that maybe it was time to finally ask the question he had been holding back from the very moment in which Hannibal had coughed the seawater out of his lungs and opened his eyes again to the dark, starry sky.

“Aren’t you worried that I’ll try to do that again?”

“Kill us?” Hannibal guessed, looking at him again with no trace of emotion in his voice. It was Will’s turn to look down at the same time that he nodded. “No.”

Will stared for a second at his hand over the small table, and he realized he had been fisting it. Hannibal then placed his hand right beside his, but their skin didn’t touch at all. He still loosened his grip a little.

“You once told me you wouldn’t deny me my life,” he said, and Will instantly knew what he meant; the night he had called him, the night they were supposed to leave together. “I don’t believe you really wanted to kill me or yourself that night on the cliff, either.”

“Maybe for a second I did,” Will said, although his words sounded weaker than he had meant them to.

“Perhaps… But tell me something, Will. The moment you wrapped your arms around my neck and pushed us over the edge... what was the strongest feeling inside you; the hope that we would both die… or the hope that we would survive?”

Will closed his eyes for a second and didn’t answer to him. Hannibal leaned forward in his chair, and Will finally looked up at him.

“If you wanted to kill me, you could’ve easily pushed me. I was at your complete mercy, I wouldn’t even have tried to resist… And if you wanted to kill yourself, you could’ve just jumped,” he said.

Will imagined the two possibilities. He felt a shiver running down his spine.

“I think in that moment a small part of yourself thought it was the only thing that you could do. Let me ask you this: how did you feel in that instant, after what we had done, standing victorious over the cliff?”

Will held his gaze, the coffee in the mug he was holding in his other hand already cold.

“I felt…” he closed his eyes, travelled for a second to that moment, taking Hannibal’s hand, standing up and realizing the incredible feeling rushing through him… But he also remembered how everything had been suddenly too much. He gasped a little and opened his eyes. “I felt better than I had ever felt, in my entire life,” he said, his eyes watery.

“And you also felt overwhelmed,” Hannibal said, and Will loved and hated him for being able to read him that well. “In that moment, so many emotions, so many things that had been building up for so long…” he continued, and Will wasn’t sure whose emotions he was talking about; probably both of theirs. “Am I wrong in thinking you didn’t actually desire to die?”

Will took a deep breath, and the sea-scent filled his nostrils. He swallowed before opening his lips to answer, looking at Hannibal in the eyes.

“No. You’re not wrong.”

He had had plenty of time to think about it while they were in the cabin, his mind a little foggy every time Hannibal gave him the drugs that abated the pain of his wounds, but the truth was that he hadn’t even had to think about it a lot. On the top of the cliff, he had felt better than he had ever felt, and that had scared him more than anything. So when he had wrapped his arms around Hannibal, he wasn’t thinking about much. Maybe the world _would_ be better off without them, maybe it was what he had to do, the ultimate sacrifice… But in the end, when he let his body fall backwards, he was too lost in the moment, too scared of how good everything felt to really think about it… And the second he’d gone into the water, he had clutched onto life, and he had clutched onto Hannibal.

“I’m glad to hear that,” Hannibal said, giving him half a smile, and he made a pause in which Will heard only the murmur of the waves that crashed against the bow. “Are _you_ worried that I might try to kill you again, like I did in Florence?”

“No…” Will shook his head, smiling just a little, the wound in his cheek pulling at his skin. “I don’t think you actually wanted to kill me,” he said, copying Hannibal’s words.

Will felt his fingers twitching, and he thought about moving his hand so it would touch Hannibal’s. A little bit to the side would suffice, the back of his hand grazing against the side of his, and maybe Hannibal then would run a finger over it, caressing him in the gentle touch that Will knew well he was capable of…

But he didn’t, and when he moved to take his mug filled with coffee, he could feel the ghost of Hannibal’s touch on the back of his hand.

****

The third night he woke up after having the nightmare, he felt the wet tears running down his cheeks and he quickly wiped them off with the back of his hands. He looked across the room at Hannibal and saw that he was in his bed, but knew he would surely be awake, so he got up and went out of the cabin without bothering to take his shoes or a sweater. When he got outside, the cold hit him and he had to hug himself, burying his hands under his armpits as he walked barefoot on the deck. He approached the gunwale and let the wind pull his hair in all directions while he stared at the distorted reflection of the moon in the water.

“Will?”

He turned a little to see Hannibal getting out of the cabin, equally barefoot and underdressed for the cold of the night in the Atlantic.

“Are you all right?”

Hannibal took a step towards him, but Will lowered his gaze, so he stopped. Will considered telling him about the nightmare, opening up his mind to him as he had done many times before, sharing his thoughts as easily as if he was just letting them drip out of his skull. But he cleared his throat and nodded weakly.

“I’m fine, I’ll go inside in a minute.”

Will saw out of the corner of his eye how Hannibal nodded too and, after a moment, went back inside. Will regretted not telling him right away.

****

The following night wasn’t as violent as the previous one, but he still woke up tangled in the sheets, his forehead damp with sweat. It took him a second to realize that the excessive darkness was because he was facing the wall, so he turned around in the exact moment in which Hannibal came to crouch beside his bed. Half of his face was illuminated by the moonlight, and the other half was covered in shadows, but Will could still see the concern in his eyes. He wasn’t trying to hide it at all, and for a moment, Will hated him.

“I’m okay, I’m-“ he started saying before Hannibal could ask him, but then he just stopped talking.

Hannibal nodded once, probably sensing his discomfort, but when he got up to go back to his bed, Will stretched out and took hold of his wrist. The touch of Will’s fingers against his bare skin made Hannibal stop, but Will immediately moved his hand away like it burnt. It was the first time they had touched after the cliff, and after the necessary contact when Hannibal had taken care of his wounds and bandages.

Hannibal stayed still by the bed, looking at him, waiting until Will could swallow, his throat suddenly dry.

“Can you… Do you mind staying here? Just until I fall asleep,” Will asked him. He bit the inside of his lip, wondering if it sounded as silly out loud as it had sounded in his head.

“Of course.”

Will moved his feet away, curling his legs and leaving a space for him to sit. Hannibal did exactly that. He sat at the feet of his bed with his back against the wall and his head almost touching the ceiling that enclosed the bed in a sort of arch. Will lay down, and didn’t avert his eyes from the other man’s. Even though he could feel Hannibal’s thigh almost touching his leg, he felt calmer than he had felt in days.

****

When he woke up Hannibal was still there, asleep against the wall with his neck twisted in an uncomfortable position, and Will felt immediately angry.

“Hannibal,” he called him in a low voice, shaking his shoulder once without delicacy.

Hannibal woke up and, the second he stretched his neck, Will knew it must be hurting him, so he looked away, clenching his jaw.

He spent the entire morning glancing at Hannibal while they sailed and did the sort of routine they had developed on the boat. Hannibal did everything Will told him to, since he didn’t know much about sailing, and he applied himself to the tasks he was given, not complaining once even though sometimes Will could see him twitching from pain and touching his stomach over his sweater.

Will felt the anger from that morning growing and growing every time Hannibal obeyed him, every time he smiled at him when he caught Will staring at him, every time he touched his neck with an obvious gesture of pain.

That afternoon, Will went to the bathroom and, entering without knocking, he found Hannibal changing his bandages. The rest of their wounds were mostly healed by then and Will didn’t even need the dressings anymore, but Hannibal had taken the worst hit with the gunshot wound of his stomach. And when Will flung the door open, he was sitting on the toilet lid, trying to wrap the dressing around.

“Shit, sorry,” Will said, turning around while he flushed at seeing the other half naked. “I thought you were-“

“Would you mind helping me?” Hannibal asked, ignoring Will’s embarrassment and standing up with the bandage in one hand and holding the other end against his belly.

Will considered saying no to him and going outside, but after a second of hesitation, he finally released the doorknob and took a slow step in. He hadn’t seen Hannibal changing his dressing or tending his own wounds since the first few days in the woods cabin, when he had also helped Will with his, although he was sure Hannibal hadn’t been neglecting them.

But when he took the bandage with a shaky hand, he wondered if he had been doing it by himself with difficulty but hadn’t wanted to ask for his help, or if he was perfectly capable of doing it alone but still was asking him _now_. He erased that thought from his mind, unsure of which option was worse, and he started wrapping the bandage around him, careful not to touch his skin once with his fingers. Hannibal kept his eyes fixed on him while Will tried looking at everything except his face. Once again, the ghost of the touch between them prickled the skin of his hands, his arms, even his chest, and that only made him even angrier than he had been. He felt his chest going up and down, half out of rage and half because he felt like he couldn’t breathe properly standing so close to Hannibal. So close that he could smell the soap from his shower on his skin, the tea they had had that afternoon on his breath, the antiseptic he had probably applied over the wound…

When he finished wrapping the dressing, he gave the remaining to Hannibal so he would finish it himself and stepped out of the bathroom in a rush. He walked up and down the small space that was the bedroom, and ran a hand over his face, letting out a long breath that didn’t quite release the weight he felt in his chest.

When Hannibal came out of the bathroom, he was dressed and he was touching his neck, his fingers massaging the skin of his nape, and that was the last thing Will needed to explode.

“Why did you do that?” he finally said, the anger contained in his voice.

“Do what?”

“You _know_ what. You didn’t have to stay the entire night!” he said, raising his voice and pointing at his own bed.

“I’m sorry if that bothered you.”

Will fisted his hands, and then he leaped on him, grabbing his sweater and throwing him against the wall. If the blow hurt Hannibal, he didn’t make a complaint.

“Why are you doing this?”

Hannibal didn’t seem pleased, but he didn’t seem bothered about having Will pinning him down, either. And then Will noticed just how close their faces were, barely a few inches separating them. He felt the ball of anger he had carried around all day disintegrating, because in that moment he realized he wasn’t _angry_ with Hannibal. He was angry at everything and nothing at the same time.

They both stayed completely still, breathing into each other and their lips so close it almost hurt Will physically. He blinked to contain a couple of tears, tightening his grip on Hannibal’s sweater even more, and then he suddenly released him and pulled away. He went out of the cabin and shivered, although he doubted it was because of the mild cold air of the sunset. When Hannibal came out, following him, he was still trying to catch his breath.

“Will. Come inside, we need to talk.”

Will couldn’t help letting out a bitter laugh and shook his head.

“You want to talk? Okay, let’s talk,” he said, taking a step towards Hannibal. “Why are you doing this?” he repeated.

“I’m afraid you will have to be more specific.”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Hannibal,” he said, clenching his jaw and taking another step. “Why are you being so patient, so… careful?”

That made Hannibal raise an eyebrow, but he remained as composed as ever.

“Would you prefer if I treated you harshly? I could try it if that’s what you need, but I don’t see how that would help you, and it definitely won’t come naturally to me.”

“See? That’s what I mean! Why does it seem like you would be willing to do anything I asked you to?”

“Because I _would_ do anything you asked me to, Will,” he said, and that time his composure faltered for a moment. Hannibal took another step towards him so they were closer, and Will saw the little furrow in his brow.

He stared at Hannibal and neither of them moved until Will noticed that he was shivering. The sun had set on the horizon, and the cold had silently wrapped them in a ruthless hug.

Will lowered his gaze and finally moved, going inside with Hannibal following him. He sat on one of the two chairs and accepted the blanket Hannibal gave him. Then he switched on the lamp and left it on the small counter. Hannibal prepared two cups of tea and put them on the table, sitting in front of Will. He wished that the other would sit beside him, that Hannibal would move his chair closer to him, but he thought that maybe it was better this way, or he wouldn’t be able to say what he wanted to say.

“I don’t understand what’s happening to me…” he whispered while he wrapped both hands around the cup, the heat comforting him a little, but not reaching him inside.

“The killing?” Hannibal guessed.

Will raised his gaze and shook his head slowly.

“My feelings about you…” he whispered, and he saw the slightest twitch in Hannibal’s upper lip, which meant that that had surprised him. “You know, I… I asked Bedelia if you were in love with me.”

Will lowered his gaze once again to be able to continue, but he wasn’t the only one having trouble speaking, because it took Hannibal an unbearable minute to answer.

“And what did our good Bedelia say?”

“She said that… that you felt a daily stab of hunger for me. That you found nourishment at the very sight of me…” he quoted Bedelia’s words, branded in his mind forever. He waited once again, but Hannibal didn’t say anything. “Then she asked me if I ached for you.”

“And what did you tell her?”

Will finally looked up, and he fixed his gaze on Hannibal’s brown eyes. Will thought it seemed like they were watery, but he couldn’t be sure in the dim light of the lamp.

“I didn’t answer her.”

Hannibal nodded, understanding that it was his way of telling him that he wasn’t going to answer to him either. More specifically, that he couldn’t. Because perhaps that was the reason why he was so angry with Hannibal for treating him the way he was… He was so confused it almost pained him, and Hannibal wasn’t making it easy on him. Or, rather, he was making it _too_ easy.

“I thought my feelings for you were perfectly clear,” Hannibal said then.

Will remembered for a second all the meals at his house before Florence, before everything had turned out so wrong. He remembered the way Hannibal had looked at him, the way he had touched him as if he were such a precious object. Will had known, somewhere inside him, but he had never wanted to face it until it was too late.

“Then why didn’t you act upon them?” he asked almost unwittingly.

“I never thought you would return those kind of feelings. I wanted you to accept every part of yourself, but I never thought that would be in you.”

“So… If I had never- If I’m never able to…. to reciprocate that,” he said, and he swallowed. “You would be okay with that?”

Hannibal then smiled, much to Will’s surprise, and he reached his arm out across the table. He stopped with his hand beside Will’s, his thumb so close to the back of his hand that it made Will’s heart skip a beat.

“I would be okay with whatever you gave me, Will. I saw a possible friend and partner in you. You _are_ my dearest friend, and joined me at slaying the Dragon. Everything that happened and is happening after that…” he said, and his voice faltered. “When you came to my arms, when you held me and let me hold you… That’s more than I would’ve ever dared to imagine.”

Will then couldn’t bear it anymore, and he put his hand on top of Hannibal’s. Even though he had been holding the hot cup of tea, when he touched _him_ he finally felt warmth spreading from his fingertips to his chest and deep into his stomach.

“I’m not sure of… I don’t know how much I…” he started saying, but Hannibal rolled his hand beneath his and wrapped it with his long fingers, giving him a little squeeze.

“Will. It’s okay.”

Will nodded, and when he took a sip from the tea, he noticed how his anger was completely gone, replaced by a thousand different feelings.

That night he had the same nightmare, but this time it was Hannibal who woke him up, shaking his shoulder delicately, and Will nodded at him, thankful for his intervention. When Hannibal was getting up to return to his bed, Will took his wrist again, and that time he didn’t let go of him right away. But when Hannibal gestured to go to the foot of his bed, as he thought he was going to ask him, Will moved aside, putting his back against the wall and moving the sheets away as an invitation.

Hannibal looked at him and the space he was offering him, and Will saw the gleam in his eyes even in the shadows. He lay down slowly, careful of not invading Will’s space even though the bed was pretty small for both of them. When Hannibal rested his head on the pillow with his face turned to him, Will did the same, and he observed Hannibal’s features in the shadows until he fell asleep, his scent and the shape and warmth of his body next to him rocking him at the rhythm of the waves.

****

Two nights later, they got caught in a storm. It wasn’t the worst one Will had ever found himself in, but it was still bad enough to secure the sails and keep the motor running until they had gone through the worst part.

“I have to go out, there’s a loose rope,” he told Hannibal, looking out from the cabin and raising his voice so he would hear him over the wind and the rumbling.

“Do you need help outside?” Hannibal asked him.

“No, but make sure there’s nothing loose in the bedroom,” Will told him, even though they had already checked that.

Hannibal disappeared into the other room, so Will went out. It was hard doing it on his own, with the raging rain hitting his face and blinding him and the wind and waves making it impossible to walk in straight lines, but he had sailed alone and faced worse storms than this one, so he had the experience in his favor. When he managed to secure the loose rope, he went inside the cabin and closed the door, and he ran a hand over his face, water dripping everywhere. He turned around and found Hannibal with a towel in his hands, looking at him as still as the violent movements of the boat allowed him to, and Will became very aware of how he was completely soaked.

“Did you-“

“Yes,” Hannibal said, anticipating his question about what he had asked him to do, so Will nodded.

“Thanks,” he said, both for fulfilling the task and for the towel.

Will dried himself under Hannibal’s watchful eye enough so he would stop leaking water everywhere, and then he stopped the motor before going to the bathroom, since it seemed like the storm was moving away. He took his soaked clothes off and put on dry ones, and when he went out he felt much better despite the constant thunders sounding in the distance.

The other was already sitting on Will’s bed with his back pressed against the wall and a stiff look on his face, and he wondered if Hannibal was dizzy. He himself felt a little wobbly, so it would be perfectly normal, but it still was strange seeing Hannibal react so humanely to something so mundane, so he couldn’t help but smile when he went to him.

“Are you okay?” Will asked him, and Hannibal opened his eyes, his concentration broken.

“Yes. Just a little bit giddy,” he said, confirming what he had suspected.

He moved so Will could get in the bed, and he lay down at Hannibal’s right side with his back towards the wall, as they had gotten used to doing in only a few days. Hannibal lay down as well, but he didn’t turn off the lamp. He stayed facing the ceiling while Will was on his side, observing and studying him.

“Where will we go after Puerto Rico?” Will asked, a little out of curiosity, but mostly because he knew Hannibal needed the distraction as much as he did.

“Do you have any preference?” Hannibal asked, voice thick in his throat.

“I don’t know… not really. I’d like to go back to Florence with you some day, but not right now,” he admitted, feeling his face flush a little. He was thankful that Hannibal wasn’t looking at him in that moment. “It wouldn’t be very smart.”

“I’m sure good old Jack will probably look for us there if he suspects that we’re alive, yes.”

“Where do _you_ want to go?” Will asked as he settled his hand in the space between his stomach and Hannibal’s right arm. The position pulled at the skin around the wound on his right shoulder and it hurt a little, but it was tolerable.

“I have been in many places, but I would certainly like to visit them again with you,” Hannibal said, still facing the ceiling, and Will felt his chest tightening. “Argentina would be a nice first stop now that the spring there is coming to an end.”

Will opened and closed the fingers of his hand, moving them closer to the dark green sweater Hannibal was wearing.

“Maybe after that we could go to Switzerland, eat Rösti and Fondue. Then in the beginning of the summer, we could go to the south of Spain, when it’s still not full of tourists…”

Will didn’t need more details to picture all of that in his mind. He imagined himself beside Hannibal, their shoulders brushing against each other as they walked through the Spanish streets in the middle of June, and he felt the lower part of his stomach setting alight. He could, for the first time in his life, go wherever he wanted, whenever he wanted. Nothing was holding him down, no Jack or FBI, no sense of duty, no nothing. And he was with Hannibal…

Will saw that he was still talking, naming countries and cities, foods and places they could visit, things they could do… but Will just moved slowly until he put his head on top of Hannibal’s chest, and draped his arm across Hannibal’s belly above the dressing. He stayed very still and tense while he heard Hannibal’s heartbeats quickening inside his chest.

“Is… is this okay?” he asked him then, fearing he had exceeded some limit.

It took Hannibal a couple of seconds to answer, and when he did, Will noticed that his breathing was uneven.

“Anything you want to do with me will be okay, Will.”

“I’m serious,” he said, adjusting his head so he could look up at the man.

“So am I.”

In that moment, a particularly violent wave swayed the boat, so Hannibal closed his eyes for a second. Will leaned on his elbow to have a better angle.

“Can I… try something?” he asked.

That made Hannibal open his eyes again, and Will saw his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat when he swallowed. He nodded, and Will felt the air around him thickening as he leaned in the space between them and reached out to touch Hannibal’s face. He brushed two fingers across Hannibal’s cheek and dragged them down to his jaw, feeling the stubble beneath his fingertips. He could feel Hannibal’s lidded eyes fixed on him, perfectly still, but he was focused on the way his skin felt under his fingers, the way his lips had parted and his breathing was coming out in shallow breaths…

Will leaned a little closer but stopped for a moment with Hannibal’s face so close that he had become a blurry image. He wasn’t entirely sure of what he was doing, or with what purpose. But it was what he wanted to do in that moment, and it felt right. He felt his own heartbeats drumming inside his chest and Hannibal’s pulse quickening under his fingers, that were roaming Hannibal’s neck now. Finally, Will tilted his head and leaned towards him, and he pressed his lips against the scar on his cheek, the one Jack had left on him along with the one he had beneath his jaw. When he pulled back slowly, he saw that Hannibal had closed his eyes again, but not because of the boat’s movements. His breathing was even heavier now, and Will had to pause for a second before being able to speak again.

“Is this okay, too?”

“It is…”

He moved to his nose, where he kissed the mark Hannibal already had since Will had met him and pressed his lips there too, merely a brush.

“What about this?”

“Yes…”

He went then to the space between his jaw and his ear, and pressed a harder kiss there. He felt Hannibal swallowing and his chest heaving beneath him, but he didn’t move even an inch, letting him do as he pleased.

“And this…?” he asked.

That time, Hannibal didn’t answer.

He kissed him on his neck, and his chin, feeling Hannibal’s ragged breathing against his skin. And when he kissed him on the corner of his lips, Will had to rest his forehead against Hannibal’s, because he suddenly felt shakier than before, and he knew that the storm and the rocking of the boat had nothing to do with that. He let his hand trail the curve of Hannibal’s body from his shoulder to his side, and they breathed into each other during a short eternity. He thought that he had never felt the need to kiss anyone with that intensity before, not any of the people he had dated briefly in his life, not Alana Bloom, not Molly… And he wondered what would it be like, to feel those lips against his, the lips of the man that had taken so much from him, the man that had given so much to him. And then Will couldn’t stand it any longer. He lowered his face and their lips met, and he felt himself melting, because it was the opposite of a strange feeling, their lips fitting perfectly, like the most natural thing.

He moved out of instinct, moving his body closer to Hannibal’s and tilting his head so the angle was better, while his hands roamed Hannibal’s body over his clothes. Even though Hannibal was kissing him too, he was still not moving beneath him, but when Will opened up his lips and slid his tongue between Hannibal’s, he heard himself moaning at the contact, and that was like a switch for Hannibal. He finally wrapped his arms around Will’s back, suddenly and eagerly touching him everywhere, and Will felt as if he was on fire, his whole body falling against Hannibal at his touch. He felt his own erection against Hannibal’s thigh and he had to bury his face in the pillow for a second to muffle his obscene whimper.

Hannibal used that moment to push him with his body and roll over him, and when Hannibal kissed him again, more savagely than before, Will held onto his back and arched his back against him, welcoming his demanding lips and feeling the incredible friction of his body against him. But Hannibal broke the kiss and pulled back to look at him.

“Sorry,” he said in between breaths, and Will knew he was referring to the fact that he had lost his self-control.

“Fuck, Hannibal. Don’t stop,” he said, almost begging.

That was enough for Hannibal, who tucked his head in Will’s neck and started kissing, licking and sucking every bit of skin he found. Then he felt Hannibal’s hands on his hips and he pulled back from Will, grabbing the bottom of his sweater and looking at him, asking for his permission. Will nodded a little too quickly.

“Yes. But only that,” he added, since he wasn’t entirely sure he was ready for more, even though his body had a completely different opinion on the matter.

Hannibal sat on his knees to be able to pull the sweater over Will’s head, and he grimaced for a moment when he moved to toss it aside, probably because of the gunshot wound. When Hannibal turned to him again, Will was resting his weight on his elbows, and he observed Hannibal for a second while Hannibal did the same with him. His disheveled hair, the savage look on his usually composed face, the redness of his lips…

When Hannibal put himself between his legs in careful movements so he wouldn’t hurt himself again, he extended the palm of his hand over Will’s heaving chest and dragged his fingers down until he met the smile he had left him on his stomach years before. He traced the line slowly with his thumb, as if he were an artist contemplating his finished work, and Will gasped softly. He then lowered his head to trace it with his tongue, and Will let out all the air he had in his lungs while he felt a shiver running down his spine, because that felt too good to be true. Will’s elbows failed him and he fell onto the bed, unwittingly arching his back again when Hannibal sucked the skin there. When he raised his gaze again he dug his fingers in Hannibal’s nape and pulled him towards him to kiss him. He bit and sucked Hannibal’s lower lip before letting him kiss his neck again.

Will was moaning with each breath, feeling so raw that he was amazed that he hadn’t come already. He bent his knees at both sides of Hannibal, and he put a hand on Hannibal’s butt to push him downwards at the same time that he bucked upwards. When their erections made contact, Hannibal let out a long, hoarse moan right by his ear, and he felt like he could pass out any moment.

“I could… help you with that,” Hannibal said out of breath, resting his weight over an arm and caressing the outside of Will’s thigh with a hand, which sent new waves of pleasure to Will’s stomach and cock. “Let me do this for you.”

“Okay,” Will said, panting, but Hannibal didn’t move right away, and he understood why; he was waiting for Will to tell him _how_ he wanted him to do it.

Before telling Hannibal anything, Will sat up a little and grabbed Hannibal’s sweater, which he pulled up as carefully as he could. Once it was off, Will ran a hand from his shoulder to the hair on his chest, and then he let himself fall back against the bed.

“With your hands,” he finally said, and Hannibal gave him half a smile.

He thought Hannibal would take Will’s pants in a rush, but instead, he adjusted his posture to take them off, and he did it carefully, holding back even though Will knew Hannibal was as eager as he was. Once his pants and boxers were off, Will was for a second too self-aware of how he was suddenly naked in front of _him_ , his obscene erection curled against his stomach, wet with precome. But Hannibal settled himself between his legs again, and he rubbed the inside of his thighs with both hands while he observed him like it was the most amazing thing he had ever seen, and Will couldn’t help but smile a little.

After a few aching seconds, Hannibal finally took his cock with delicacy but firmly, and Will fell against the mattress again, amazed at Hannibal’s capacity of committing the most violent and brutal acts, and also the most gentle and tender.

When Hannibal started stroking him, Will’s hips jerked up almost unconsciously, and Hannibal smiled at his thrust. Will put a hand on his shoulder and the other on his nape, probably digging his fingers too deep into his skin, but Hannibal didn’t complain. He stretched his free hand to Will’s chest and dragged his palm up to his neck, where he loosely wrapped his fingers around it. Hannibal fixed his eyes on Will’s and he held his gaze while he stroked him with the perfect grip, changing the rhythm to accommodate Will’s breathing, rubbing his thumb across the head of his cock and making his head spin with pleasure.

Will kept moaning uncontrollably, and when he couldn’t stand the distance anymore, he pulled Hannibal down again with the grip of his nape to kiss him, even though it was more breathing into each other’s lips than kissing.

When he came, he arched against Hannibal, howling into his cheek in a more beast than human sound. He felt his body going loose, the orgasm rippling beneath his skin, and Hannibal crawled down over him. Will felt his tongue on his stomach, and when he saw Hannibal lapping at his come, he almost felt like he was about to lose his mind. When Hannibal crawled over him again, Will received him with a wet, slow kiss. And then he felt Hannibal’s erection against his thigh, and he didn’t even need his empathy to know how achingly hard he must be. Will lowered his hands to Hannibal’s butt and then bucked his hips again to rub his thigh against him. That elicited a rumble from Hannibal’s throat, muffled by their kisses. Will slid a hand between their bodies, where he palmed his cock above his pajama bottoms. Hannibal groaned and dropped his head to the pillow, their cheeks touching.

“You don’t, ah- You don’t have to-” Hannibal tried to tell him right by his ear.

“I know, don’t worry,” Will said, and then he tucked his hand inside Hannibal’s pants, where he palmed his cock without the layers between as he thrust his hips up again, and Will felt him trembling with pleasure. “Kiss me.”

Hannibal obeyed him and went to his lips again while he stroked his erection and moved against him, thrusting with his hips like they were creating music together, a secret rhythm only they could hear. When Hannibal came, he buried his face in Will’s neck, and Will felt his breathing against his skin coming in pants. Then, Hannibal pressed his lips in a lazy kiss against Will’s jaw and his tongue licked the sweat from his skin.

When they could move, they went to the bathroom to clean themselves and change his pajama bottoms in Hannibal’s case. Once they finished, they went back to the bed and almost collapsed onto it. Will lay down on his back and Hannibal rested his head on his chest, wrapping his arms around him. For a few minutes, all they could hear was the storm in the distance and each other’s breathings. Will thought that maybe he should feel different, strange; after all, he had just had sex with a man, with Hannibal.

“How are you feeling?” Hannibal asked him then, almost like he had guessed his thoughts.

“Like I’m finally where I was always supposed to be,” he said, and he realized it was true as he did.

Hannibal looked up from his chest, his eyes gleaming, and Will smiled at him. He craned his neck and they kissed slowly, their tongues tangling together. When Hannibal put his head on his chest again, Will slid his fingers in his hair and caressed him until they fell asleep. That night, he didn’t have any dream.

****

The next morning, the sea was almost flat and the sun shone bright in the sky. Will was on the deck with his eyes closed and the sunlight making his scar prickle when he felt Hannibal’s presence beside him.

“Stay with me, Will,” Hannibal told him, and that made him smile.

Will looked at him, and he accepted the mug with coffee he was offering him.

“Where else would I go?” Will said, echoing the conversation they had had a long time ago, although under very different circumstances.

“Well, now you have the entire world to go to,” Hannibal said, looking at the horizon too and taking a sip from his coffee.

“ _We_ have.”

He saw Hannibal smiling out of the corner of his eye, and so he smiled too. He thought about moving closer to him, feeling his side against his arm and maybe the heat of his body through their clothes, but despite what they had shared the night before, Will stayed still. But then he felt Hannibal’s hand pressing lightly on his back, and he looked at him, surprised.

“Is this okay?” Hannibal asked him.

Will nodded a little, the skin under Hannibal’s warm hand tickling beneath the shirt he was wearing.

“It’s more than okay…”

He took Hannibal’s hand, carefully pressed on his lower back, and moved it to his waist, pulling him closer with the movement. Hannibal dug his fingers a little into the skin there, and Will had to bury his face for a second in Hannibal’s shoulder, because he couldn’t believe everything he was feeling.

****

They stayed in Puerto Rico only a few days in a crappy hotel while the man Hannibal knew procured them their new identities. They had the money that Hannibal had stashed in the cabin they had stayed in, but there wasn’t much left anymore, so they couldn’t afford five star hotels, exactly. At least, until Hannibal could retrieve the money he apparently had in a few bank accounts under different names that the police knew nothing about. When he had told him about that, Will had wondered exactly how rich Hannibal was, but he had decided not to ask him.

When Hannibal arrived at the hotel with the documents, Will was sitting on the porch, observing the purple sunset over the beach. He went into their room with Hannibal and closed the door before taking the one Hannibal was giving to him. He looked at his picture, scar on his right cheek included, and at his new name, and then he looked up to see Hannibal’s, but his passport was closed on top of the bed.

“What’s your alias?” he asked, trying to sound casual, but Hannibal smiled while he took his jacket off.

“Thomas.”

Will nodded, trying to be a little patient, but he pursed his lips.

“And…?”

Hannibal left his jacket on the back of the chair perfectly folded and went to him, a wide smile on his lips.

“Perhaps what you really want to ask, dear Will, is if we share the same last name?”

Will rolled his eyes because he had caught him, but he still smiled.

“Okay, let me see,” he said, and he reached out to take the passport, but Hannibal was quicker and he put himself in front of Will, taking the documents and hiding them behind his back. “Hannibal…”

“If you wanted us to share the same name you just had to ask, Will.”

He shook his head at the teasing and tried to take it from his hands again, but Hannibal switched it from one hand to the other in the last second, and Will was left with an arm wrapped over Hannibal’s back and their faces too close to ignore it. Still, he pulled back just a little, rested his hands on Hannibal’s chest and then he deliberately ran his tongue across his own lips.

“Hannibal. Let me see it… Please?” he said, looking at him through his lashes.

Hannibal then smiled and bit his lower lip, looking from Will’s eyes to his lips. Will was well aware of how he would be unable to deny him anything, and sure enough, he finally offered the passport to him. But by then, he had decided that maybe that could wait. He took the passport and tossed it over the small table in a corner of the room while he stood on tiptoe to kiss him. They had shared brief touches and small kisses since that first time in the boat, but when Will slid his fingers through the short hair of his nape and opened his mouth to Hannibal, he felt the same hunger he had felt that night taking over him. He bit his lower lip and Hannibal moaned against him and pushed him backwards. Will let a groan out when he hit the wall, and Hannibal suddenly pulled back, settling his hands at both sides of his head on the wall. Will looked at him, and when he saw the feral look in Hannibal’s eyes, he felt himself getting so hard, so quickly, it almost hurt.

“Don’t you dare ask me if it’s okay,” Will said before Hannibal could speak, and Hannibal grinned.

Will grabbed his shirt and pulled him towards him to devour him in a hungry kiss. Hannibal then wrapped him in a sort of embrace and pulled him even closer while he kissed his chin, his neck, his collarbone…

“Tell me what you want, Will,” Hannibal said in between kisses. “Anything you want… as much as you want.”

Will felt his entire body setting on fire at the contact of his lips, but also at his words. He would _truly_ do anything he’d asked him too, and that included going only as far as he was comfortable with, exactly as that first night.

“Fuck, Hannibal,” he gasped, dragging his hands to his back and his neck, holding him as close as he could. “I want you. I want… I want your mouth,” he said with his heart drumming hard inside his chest.

Hannibal pulled back a little to look at him and smiled, cupping his face for a moment before kissing him again. Will arched his back away from the wall and towards Hannibal’s body, and when he felt the other man’s erection against his own, his legs would’ve probably failed him if he hadn’t been holding onto Hannibal. He then squeezed Hannibal’s shoulders so he would move away, and when he did, Will put both hands on his hips and pushed him towards the bed until he hit the edge with his calves and fell onto the mattress.

Will looked at him for a second, sprawled on the bed, resting his weight on his elbows, the lascivious look in his face, his chest going up and down with his ragged breathing… Will bit his lower lip and took his shoes and shirt off in a probably too quick movement. Then, he climbed onto the bed with one knee beside Hannibal’s thigh and the other at his other side, sitting astride on his legs. He grabbed Hannibal’s shirt and tugged. Hannibal sat up and stayed still as Will unbuttoned it, while their faces hovered near each other’s, so close Will could feel his skin prickling, aching for Hannibal’s touch. When he undid the last button, Hannibal moved his hands to take it off, but Will stopped him.

“No. Let me,” he said, and Hannibal lowered his hands, smiling a little, pleased at his determination.

Will grabbed both sides of the white shirt and started pulling down his shoulders, moving closer to him with the movement. He tipped his head and tucked it in the curve of his neck, where he gently bit Hannibal’s earlobe. He felt Hannibal shivering beneath him, and that turned him on even more, if it was possible.

“You know that you’re the first, don’t you? The first man I’ve ever done _anything_ with,” Will whispered against his ear. “The only one.”

That elicited a low moan out of Hannibal, who bowed his head even more, exposing his neck completely to him. Will lowered his shirt down to his elbows, restraining his arms even though Hannibal wasn’t trying to move. He let his lips brush against Hannibal’s skin while he descended from his ear across his neck, inhaling him and letting his tongue out when he reached the scar he had beneath his jaw. He drew a line with the tip of his tongue up to his chin, where he bit him again, and then he finally put himself at eye level. He opened his mouth and let his lips linger over his, but didn’t kiss him right away. Instead, he finally took the shirt off, Hannibal shaking his hands a little to take the cuffs off, and then he opened his eyes to look at him.

“Touch me,” Will told him. And then, only so he knew it wasn’t an order, he added, “Please.”

But Hannibal didn’t even hesitate a second before wrapping his arms around him, his fingers covering as much of Will’s bare back as he could. He held him tightly, and Will felt Hannibal’s erection against his with the movement. He moaned at the same time that he let his mouth fall against the other’s. He kissed him while he trailed his fingers up his back and into his nape, disarranging his hair and rocking his hips against his lap.

Hannibal couldn’t wait any longer, so he used the embrace he had on Will to spin around and throw him onto the mattress, groaning a little probably because of the pain in his stomach. Will bounced slightly with the movement, but Hannibal was quickly over him and he felt him everywhere, his lips on his mouth and then on his jaw, his hands on his back, on his sides, on his stomach, his body pressing over his in the perfect angle. When his lips started going down Will’s neck and onto his chest, Will raised his head and observed how he kept descending, going across his navel and leaving his scar behind. And then, Hannibal raised his head too, looking at him with his hands on his sides, his face so close to Will’s erection that he had to restrain himself not to push his hips upwards.

“Yes, do it. God,” he said, unable to say anything coherent.

Hannibal sat up a little and started unbuckling his belt. Once he did that, he unbuttoned the pants, and Will had to bite his lower lip while he waited the aching seconds that it took him to get them off, pulling them off of his legs with his help and tossing them aside. Even before he turned around, Will sat up and reached out to Hannibal’s pants, grabbing the belt, but he stopped with his hands there.

“Can I?”

“Will,” Hannibal said tilting his head, and it sounded more like a plead than he had probably intended.

Will smiled a little, and then he tried to take the other’s pants off inelegantly, pulling at the belt too quickly and almost breaking the button when he couldn’t unbutton it on his first attempt. Hannibal got up from the bed to make it easier for him, and when he finally managed to pull them down to Hannibal’s knees, he observed his erection under his black boxer briefs, and then he realized something: he hadn’t seen Hannibal naked yet. Hannibal had seen Will naked, not only that night in the boat, but also through the years, like when they had been in Florence and he was sure Hannibal had undressed and probably bathed him. But Will had never seen _him_ naked.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to, Will,” Hannibal told him, mistaking his thoughts for hesitation.

Will just shook his head, looking up at him for a moment, and then tucked his thumbs between his skin and the elastic and started dragging them down. He saw Hannibal closing his eyes and letting his head fall backwards at the friction of the clothing against his erection, and Will finally pulled them down. The second his cock was free, it arched upwards, and Will had to swallow, the air too thick in his throat, because he was suddenly staring at him while he was naked. And Will had expected to feel different, to feel strange or even uncomfortable, but it wasn’t anything like that. In that instant, the only thing he felt was the desire to touch him, to make him curl and moan under his touch. But he doubted for a second, unsure of where to start, and Hannibal put both hands on his shoulders, bending his back to look at him.

“Let me take care of you first,” he said, and Will nodded, a thick, warm feeling spreading through his stomach at his words.

But before Hannibal could push him into the mattress again, he thought of something.

“Do you have- Did you buy any… Ehm. Lube? I don’t know, just in case,” he said, speaking too quickly.

Hannibal chuckled and leaned in to press a quick kiss to his lips.

“Yes, in my bag,” he said in between kisses, and then he looked at him with half a smile. “Although I must admit, I wasn’t expecting to use that yet.”

Will kissed him again and smiled too against his lips. Then he pulled away, crawling backwards over the mattress, away from the edge.

“Get it. Just… you know.”

“Just in case,” Hannibal finished for him, and Will nodded.

Will followed him with his eyes while he went to the wardrobe and searched through his bag completely naked, and he couldn’t avoid his eyes travelling to the mark Mason had left on his back. When Hannibal stood up with something that looked like a luxurious jar of cream, Will’s cock throbbed inside his boxers, and he grabbed at them to pull them off, but Hannibal was already at the foot of the bed, and he put his hand on Will’s leg to stop him.

“Don’t,” he said, and Will released his underpants.

Hannibal left the jar in the nightstand and then climbed onto the bed, put himself right in front of Will, and took the boxers himself to take them off. Will let his head fall against the mattress, not because he couldn’t look, but because he was so hard it was almost painful. Once he had taken them off, Will felt his hands on his thighs and then he dragged them to the back of Will’s knees, making him spread and bend his legs. When he bent his back to stand on all fours right over him, Will pulled him closer to kiss him again while he pinned his knees to Hannibal’s sides. Will moaned against him when the other slid a hand to his cock, but Hannibal immediately left his lips to crawl downwards, pressing light and wet kisses against his stomach on the way. When he was before his cock, this time without any layer between them, Hannibal lay down on his stomach between Will’s legs. Then he gripped his cock and licked it from the base to the head, and Will felt like he was about to faint. He squirmed out of pleasure, and before he could even register the feeling, Hannibal wrapped his mouth around him.

“Hannibal, fuck,” he muttered, in an attempt not to whine.

He lowered a hand to him, grabbing his hair and the fisting the sheets with the other while Hannibal sucked at his head, hollowing his cheeks and making an obscene slurping noise. Will arched his head backwards and fought against the impulse of pushing his hips up, but Hannibal put both hands on them and took him whole in his mouth. Will choked on air, because he couldn’t have thrust deeper even if he had tried to, and the feeling was too good, too hot, too wet, too much.

When he came, he gripped Hannibal’s hair tighter and arched his back while he moaned so loudly that anyone who was near their bedroom would surely have heard him. But he couldn’t have cared less, because it felt glorious, like he was floating, like he was back at the cliff, at that exact second in which he had realized how beautiful everything they had done was, how much he wanted to feel like that forever…

Hannibal crawled over him and Will kissed him, abandoned himself only to his lips for a moment while he gathered strength to move and think again. Then, he pushed Hannibal and made him lie down on his back.

“Tell me what you want,” he said then, kissing his jaw.

“Anything you’re comfortable with,” Hannibal said, his breathing uneven, his cock so hard against his stomach that it was almost enough to make Will hard again too.

“I want to… I’d like…” he tried to say. He pulled back a little and breathed in. “I want to fuck you, but not- I mean, I-“

“Use your fingers,” Hannibal said, guessing his thoughts.

Will chuckled and nodded, nervous and excited at the same time.

“Do you want me to?”

“Will, whatever you want-“

“No,” he interrupted him before he continued, putting a hand flat on his chest. “I want to do something that _you_ want.”

Hannibal smiled then, putting his hand on top of Will’s.

“Believe me, Will. I _do_ want this.”

Will nodded, kissed him again and then turned around to the nightstand. He took the jar of lube and then stared at it.

“Do you want me to do it?” Hannibal asked, but he shook his head.

“No, just tell me what to do.”

He opened the jar while he put himself between Hannibal’s legs as he had done before, and Hannibal rested his weight on his elbows.

“Don’t be afraid to take a lot,” he told him, and Will stuck his fingers into the lube. He expected it to be thick and viscous, but it was in fact cold and wet. “Spread it and put as much as you want.”

Hannibal readjusted his position, bending his knees and resting his heels on the mattress at Will’s sides so it would be easier for him. Will nodded and then did as he had told him; he took as much as it could fit on his fingers, and then he left the jar aside. He put one hand on Hannibal’s knee and then he moved the other to Hannibal’s butt. When he reached him, Hannibal jerked a little and Will looked at him, widening his eyes, but the other smiled a little and let his back fall down against the bed.

“It’s cold,” he said as an explanation.

Will relaxed a little, and he finally spread the lube as Hannibal had told him to. It felt incredibly weird but in a good way, because he saw Hannibal’s breathing growing thicker with each passing moment. When he thought it was enough, he bit his lower lip and put his hand in his opening, but looked up at Hannibal again.

“Start with one finger. And don’t worry about me,” Hannibal said, reaching out his hand to caress Will’s cheek.

He tipped his head a little and bit Hannibal’s thumb for a moment, and then he started going inside him with a finger. Hannibal’s breath caught in his throat, and he bent his head against the mattress. Will was captivated for a second with the sight of Hannibal sprawled before him, cock against his stomach dripping with precome, his jaw tight and his lips parted, baring his teeth like an animal. And it was all because of Will, all for Will. He went deeper inside him, and Hannibal let out a guttural sound between a sigh and a moan.

“Okay?” he asked, the fingers from his other hand digging into Hannibal’s skin.

“It’s- Ah. You’re doing well, _really_ well. Go a little deeper.”

He did so, and Hannibal rewarded him with another delightful sound coming out of his throat. Will had never seen him as disarrayed as in that moment, not after fighting against Jack in his kitchen, not even when Mason had kidnapped them… And Will realized that he loved it. He loved every messy and unwitting sound he was getting out of him, he loved how he was trying to keep his gaze fixed upon Will, and loved how he was shivering at his touch.

“Will, crook your finger just a little bit, so you-“

Hannibal stopped talking then, so Will guessed he really _was_ doing well. When he bent his finger, reaching what he guessed had to be the prostate, Hannibal stayed very still, and after a couple of silent seconds, he let out a long moan.

Will couldn’t stay away from him anymore, and he leaned in without moving his hand, reaching his mouth. Hannibal reacted at his kiss, and Will matched the movements of his lips with the ones of his hand.

“Touch yourself for me,” Will said, breathing against his mouth.

“Not yet. Put another finger in me, Will.”

Will did so, stopping the kiss for a moment while he slid another finger inside Hannibal with the help of the leaking lube. Hannibal groaned against his mouth while Will fucked him, and then he lowered a hand to touch himself. They moved in synchronicity, unconsciously matching each other’s movements, and it wasn’t long until Hannibal curled up against him, letting out a low growl in his ear.

Will collapsed against his chest, and they stayed like that while they caught their breath, Will rocked by Hannibal’s breathing.

“You know, this is not what I thought I’d end up doing with you back when we had our therapy sessions,” Will joked, his voice thick with the exhaustion.

Hannibal laughed beneath him and Will looked up, smiling.

“Perhaps not like this, but… You surely had to think about us in a more intimate situation, at some point. Our relationship was never exactly conventional.”

Will thought about it, and despite having shared what they had just shared, he blushed a little while he remembered it.

“Maybe…? Once or twice,” he admitted.

“When?” Hannibal asked, sliding an arm behind his head to be able to look at him better.

“When… When I resumed our sessions, after getting out of prison.”

Hannibal’s smile broadened.

“When you were baiting me,” he said, and Will shrugged a little.

“Yes.”

“Did you imagine us in my office, perhaps against the desk…? Or was it during one of our dinners, even with Jack present?”

“Jesus, Hannibal,” Will said, turning away from him to hide his embarrassment.

Hannibal chuckled again, probably delighted at his blush, and he wrapped an arm around his waist to stop him from getting up, pulling him closer again. He touched his lower lip with his tongue in a light brush, and then he kissed him slowly, savoring him.

They both cleaned themselves in the bathroom, and when they went back to the bed, Will lay down on top of Hannibal, his arms tight around his chest. Right when his eyelids were starting to close, Hannibal’s fingers drawing slow circles on his back, he remembered the passports and looked up.

“You didn’t tell me what the last name of your alias is,” he said.

Hannibal smiled and opened his eyes. He reached out to the opposite nightstand, dragging Will with him for a moment, and then returned to his original position while he gave him the passport. Will opened it and his eyes first went to Hannibal’s recent picture, and then to his last name. And he smiled again.

“It’s the same last name…”

“Of course it is,” Hannibal said, his voice hoarse. “Now, would you like me to introduce you as my step-brother, or my distant cousin from America?”

Despite knowing that he was joking, Will looked at him serious, pursing his lips.

“Don’t you dare, Hannibal.”

Hannibal gave him a smug smile, and Will shook his head and tossed the passport aside before attacking his lips again.

****

Will woke up and immediately looked to his side. The moonlight that entered through the open windows allowed him to see Hannibal’s silhouette beside him. His head was tipped to the pillow, and his chest moved slowly up and down with his breathing, so Will hadn’t woken him up. He rolled over to face the ceiling and tried to fall back asleep, but he knew himself well enough to know he wasn’t going to be able to do that. After a few minutes, he stood up from the bed as carefully as he could, took a t-shirt that he had left on the back of a chair the night before, and then went out of the bedroom.

He went through the small living room and opened the sliding door that led to the terrace. The cool and humid air made the hair on his arms stick out when he went out. He put on the shirt while he approached the railing, where he leaned both of his elbows on it and bent his back. He heard the voices of people in the streets, the bark of a dog and the murmur of the waves crashing into the distant shore, invisible in the darkness of the night. He smiled at the life outside even when it was so late. They had only been in Argentina for a few weeks, but he had already come to like their rental house and the city, and how nice the weather was. But apparently, not even that had excused him from having the nightmare once again, even though it had been a long time since he had last had it…

“Will?”

He turned and saw Hannibal at the door. Will immediately smiled at his disheveled hair and his sleepy face, but also because of how relieved he felt to see him there, even though he hadn’t wanted to wake him up. He turned around while the other approached him, leaning his back against the railing.

“Trouble sleeping?” Hannibal asked him.

“I guess.”

He reached out and took Hannibal’s wrist to pull him closer, and then he wrapped his arms around his bare back and tucked his head in the crook of his neck, holding tightly on to him. Will breathed deeply against him while Hannibal hugged him back, running a hand through his hair.

“Is it because of what we did today…?” he asked.

That afternoon, they had killed together again. They had tracked down the killer from a series of gruesome murders in which the different victims had appeared with their limbs cut and sewed back onto other victims, like a disturbing puzzle. They had followed him to the warehouse where he made his creations, and they had killed him together. Then, they had cut his limbs off and sewed them back together, leaving him there for the police to find.

Will smiled a little and shook his head against Hannibal’s shoulder.

“It’s not that… Not exactly,” he told him, pressing his lips against his neck, and he was about to open his lips to tell him what it was when Hannibal spoke again.

“Was it the nightmares, then?” he asked in a low voice.

Will opened his eyes and pulled back, looking at him. He nodded slowly.

“Yes… I hadn’t had that nightmare since…” he started saying, and then he furrowed his brow, because he suddenly realized exactly how long had it been. “Since that night in the boat.”

Will tilted his head, because he hadn’t thought about it since then. He had had the same nightmare for weeks, but after that night in which they had shared each other completely, he hadn’t had the dream anymore.

“You never asked me what I dreamed about all those nights since we were in the cabin.”

“I was waiting until you were ready to tell me,” Hannibal said, pressing his lips to Will’s forehead.

“Do you want to know now?”

“Of course I do.”

Will undid his embrace around Hannibal to be able to meet his eyes more comfortably, but their hands lingered on each other’s skin.

“I didn’t tell you because of how confused I was, I guess. And because it really scared me, it still does. But I wanted to,” he said, one of his hands settling on Hannibal’s side. “I had the dream over and over almost every night since the fall…”

“Exactly the same?”

“Yes,” Will nodded and swallowed, because he suddenly felt a little lump in his throat.

He made a pause while he inevitably remembered the fall from the cliff, and Hannibal waited patiently.

“What do you remember about the fall?” he asked then.

“I remember you,” Hannibal said, tilting his head. “I remember your arms around me, your body against mine as we fell… And then, nothing. I woke up on the shore with you beside me.”

Will nodded, and then he moved his hand up to Hannibal’s cheek and brushed it before leaving it on his shoulder.

“I never told you, but… when we hit the water, I lost you. I tried to hold onto you, but when I emerged to breathe, you were suddenly gone. I couldn’t find you anywhere.”

Will closed his eyes and remembered the moment in which he had managed to take his head out of the water, coughing and breathing deeply. He had opened his eyes to find himself surrounded by the black water and nothing else. The wounds on his cheek and chest burnt like fire, and he could taste the seawater and blood in his mouth. But he ignored all of that, because Hannibal wasn’t in his arms as he had been seconds ago, and the terror that overtook him was more powerful than the waves that tried to violently haul him in every direction.

“When I finally found you, I dragged you out of the water and I felt more relieved than I’ve ever been when you coughed and started breathing…”

Hannibal gave him half a smile, and Will felt his hand fondling his back, his touch comforting him.

“In the dream, I can’t find you,” he finally admitted. “It’s like I live forever in that moment when I couldn’t see you, so I lose you in the ocean and I never find you, no matter how hard I try to look for you.”

“So you are left alone.”

“Completely alone,” Will said, holding the tears back.

Hannibal pulled him closer to hug him, and Will buried his face in his shoulder, the lump in his throat easing a little.

“Do you think maybe killing again is what made you have the nightmare again? Perhaps putting ourselves deliberately in danger brought back the memory, even if it was subconsciously.”

Will considered it for a moment, and then he pulled back to meet his eyes and his mind went back to that afternoon. There had been a moment in which their prey had fought back, in which he had kicked Will away, taken a wrench from a nearby table and swung it at Hannibal. He had dodged the attack and they had quickly overpowered him, but Will’s heart had skipped a beat with fear in that instant.

“Maybe…” he said, realizing it just then. “I don’t ever want to feel that way, Hannibal.”

“You don’t have to.”

Will chuckled, but he shook his head a little.

“Well, it’s not like you can promise me that nothing will ever happen to you- to us, can you?”

“No, I can’t,” Hannibal said, cupping his face with both hands. “But I can try to prevent you from feeling that way as long as I can. And I can make sure to remind you every single day that the moment in the sea is long gone, washed away by the waves and our determination to get out, and that I am right here with you, and you are here with me.”

Will looked at him, unable to say anything right away.

“What do you think?”

“It sounds good…”

Hannibal smiled, and Will did so too right before leaning towards him and kissing him. He wrapped his arms around Hannibal’s back, which was beginning to turn cold, so he pulled back and looked at him with a smile.

“Are you tired?”

“I’m afraid not, and I don’t think I’ll be able to fall asleep again tonight. Do you want me to prepare a cup of tea?”

“Uhmm… I think I might have something else in mind.”

Will bit his lower lip and nodded towards the bedroom, and the other grinned. When Hannibal pulled him away from the railing, Will laughed against his mouth while they tried to walk backwards without breaking contact.

**Author's Note:**

> \----
> 
> All information + links about my writing are [here](https://about.me/mizumohno).
> 
> Say hello to me @ [twitter](https://twitter.com/mizumohno) and [tumblr](http://starkaryen.tumblr.com/) :)


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